Sarah’s Blog – Week 14 – 17th May 2016
This week was a challenge. To say my mind was racing was an understatement. If my mind was a car I would have won the Monaco Grand Prix, hands down. I had a lot on my mind. I was in a state of anticipation, of what was to come: in short, I was projecting into the future. A dream-world I know, but its attractions had a hold over me. And there is nothing like fear to take you out of that place of no-mind. I was worried about the challenges of a job coming up. I used the circle to observe the mind, as a valuable exercise in letting the thoughts go by, like clouds floating across the sky, except this was a mental tornado going through my head. I was also exhausted. It was going to be a matter of patience and humbleness. Two steps forward, one step back. Perhaps the virtues of patience and humbleness, and the ability to just accept what ‘is’ in the moment were far more useful than always expecting to ‘meet’ your guide, like you were standing in line at a book-signing.
That said, the week had brought a certain amount of reflection. I was pondering what my guide would be for. Was I to work as a medium? Would my guide be imparting wisdom? I already felt more drawn to the latter, and I have described previously how I felt like I was getting a ‘wisdom’ upgrade at certain points in the week, between circles. I was calmer, more detached. And yet I also had a revelation. When I worked as a healer, I always linked with angelic energy. I couldn’t tell you if I was linking with a particular ‘angel’. While I described what I did as Angelic Reiki, during the week, I had started to ponder how this all fitted in with the rainbow colours, and the presence I felt (usually!) during the circle. For some reason, I felt I was on the cusp of an upgrade in my healing as well, that the energy, which often came through as calming words spoken to my clients, would become more palpable as an angelic presence. Don’t ask me how I knew, I just knew. I must be psychic…
And so this week was about expectations and not having any. In fact it wasn’t just a theme for me, as a couple of people in the circles had expressed concerns about what they were doing, and also things they were not happy about with the group. I felt it was a good thing. People were saying what they thought. A circle is a living energy, it builds over time and like all living organisms, it must be tended and nurtured. Part of that is the free expression of people within it. All of it could be dealt with and whatever was right for the people within the group would come to pass. I had absolute trust in spirit these days. By the end of the circle this week, I did manage to feel calmer, refreshed and more rested. Spirit always knew best about what was right in the moment. And while I did not have the intense feelings of presence and of colours, I did feel the gentle presence of spirit, as healing energy, at the point of getting through but just stopping short this time, as if this was enough.
The cusp is a place that is under-estimated. It’s your special holding space. I didn’t need to be turbo-charged this week. That Grand Prix could wait.