Sarah’s blog – Week 13 – 10th May 2016
From the week before, I had become lost in colour. I felt calm, I pondered beauty. I felt anticipation too, as if I was very close to making contact with my guide. I didn’t want to think about it too much. Thought just took me straight into a dead end, where I started imagining things, making stories. It was far better just to tune into the energy of the rainbow colours. I seemed to have access to it throughout the week in a gentler form than in the circle. It seemed to have within it a wisdom far beyond anything I could muster. If I was able to tune into the rainbow colours, I was able to walk away from arguments, quell anxiety, let go of any issues, not go over the past – in short all the human failings we must learn to deal with during our time in human form.
I also concentrated on trying to keep my energy body expanded, not in the way that I did when I was in circle, but I just kept generally focused on a sense of expansion, of spaciousness within and around me, the opposite of tension and contraction, when one feels the pressures of life getting to you. Think you don’t know how to do this? Course you do. It’s when you take a deep breath and step back from reacting, pause and allow something to wash over you. There it is, the ages-old practise of the breath and the concomitant shift in your energy field that it elicits. And when it came to the circle that week, when I was deep in meditation, sitting in the power of an energy field now turned up high, I felt the the colours come forth in full strength, as a presence, sending the hairs on my head a-tingle and then descending into me. I was the colour.
This week I felt the love. The love I suppose that we all are, the love bigger than anyone of us, when we live inevitably contracted into an individual identity of ‘you’ and ‘me’, a particular viewpoint, separated from the creation. It was as if the presence was showing me this love, offering it to me, suggesting I use it as my guide, and that this presence too would always be by my side. I’ve never felt closer to ‘my guide’ than this, if you can call a set of rainbow colours a guide, but if I was prepared to let go of the sense of an ‘I’, I was prepared to let go of a sense of a particular identity for my guide too. I felt intuitively when such things no longer mattered to me, ‘who’ or maybe even ‘what’ my guide was, would be revealed. It was always the way. As if to underline the fact, Doreen, who was leading the circle that week, seemed to echo these realisations as we came out of the circle. She reminded us that this space we were creating with our guide would be the place from where we would work as a medium or a healer, it was our special place, always available to us, a gift. She said it would be here we would find our poise, the purity that sometimes we longed for, when we felt confused and tarnished by the troubles of this world.
I’ll never forget the love I felt this week. It was so big I hadn’t seen it, but it felt so familiar I knew it had always been there. Beauty indeed.